I thought I’d open this blog, as seems to be the thing, with a statement about who I am – and, given this is an occult blog, some background on where I am in my spiritual journey, or path, or whatever slightly nauseating New Age/hippy-sounding term you prefer.
Firstly, I lay no claims to being the seventh daughter of the seventh daughter or any such nonsense like that. Yes, my mother was a Wiccan, but very much in name only; devotion to anything but the self was not her thing… but that is a long story for another time, when we know each other a little better.
Back to me – this is all about me right now (it is my blog, after all).
While fascinated with the occult from a young age (what child isn’t interested in ghosts and witches?), I very much came to this as an adult, and I suppose one doesn’t come to magic as an adult without being a seeker of some kind, whether that is seeking love, sex, money or spiritual fulfilment.
All of these things though, in my opinion, are emanations from one essential human need: that of safety – either physical or emotional. The bottom two layers of Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs is a great example. Those foundations that hold the rest of our lives up – and by the way, I’m going to continue with the building metaphors, so bear with me.
I’ve always struggled with feeling safe, so that was very much my motivation in seeking to learn magic. I was after results: things to make me feel like I was secure against the spinning of life’s wheel. The irony is that, almost 10 years after first getting into magic, those things have become secondary to the real benefits I have gained – a sense of community, a source of creative expression, feelings of awe and wonder and the ability to break my framework and rewrite my narrative.
These four things are covered in the video linked here, which was shared during one of the weekly Occult/Wicca classes given by our coven High Priest. In the video, the speaker refers to these as Belonging, Purpose, Transcendence and Storytelling. The video is well worth a watch; the way the speaker ties this up at the end is true magic if I ever saw it. Anyway, back to the building metaphors – I am calling these The Four Pillars of Fulfillment.
- Belonging – meeting like-minded folk has been a life changer for me. I had been working as a solitary witch for some time, dipping into various traditions but not really finding a place where I felt I fit. I joined various Facebook magic groups, narrowly escaped an online cult and then finally in 2019 joined a Tarot class at my local occult bar that soon became a coven and I’m still there almost a year later. It might not seem long, but I have met friends through there that I now consider some of my closest.
- Purpose – that was a hard one for me, and I am still working on it. For me it isn’t so much about a grand purpose in life, something you were put on this earth to achieve, but more about being the best person you can be. Contributing positively to the world around you, treading with a light step rather than a heavy carbon footprint. This relates directly to the Wiccan concept of Service or Pagan Charity. Feeling like you are benefitting the world does wonders for one’s self esteem. This can be done in many ways – some obvious ones being voluntary work, activism and charitable donations. It can also be looked as living meaningfully and mindfully; for me this meant putting some creativity back into my life – drawing, painting, crafting, writing.
- Transcendence – this is a fascinating one for me. Transcendence sounds incredibly woo-woo and hippy; ten years ago I would have shrunk from this. Transcendence can be found in many places, however – from listening to a beautiful piece of soaring music or losing oneself in a painting, to being out in nature, performing ritual works and going into trance, meditation and even using psychedelics, if those float your boat. I also find this through study, those moments where something in a grimoire relates to something in the PGM to something in modern Wicca really make me feel a sense of the timelessness of occult practice. Golden threads woven through the magical cloth. Feeling awe, feeling wonder, is literally food for the spirit: it elevates the mood. Your sense of self fades away and you feel more like a part of the greater picture.
- Storytelling – your personal narrative. How you frame your world. The boxes you put yourself in. We all have an inner critic, but you have the power to change that inner voice. You might not be able to rewrite your past, but you certainly can rewrite the script you feed to yourself about it. I found EFT and guided meditations incredibly useful here, both also forms of magical practice.
So – that is where I am. Working, through magic, to keep my four pillars upright. And I’m happier than I’ve ever been as a result.
Welcome to my little corner of the internet.
The Witchualist 